


Do Animals Have Return Policies?

by HiddenSt0rms



Category: One Piece
Genre: Allergies, Cats, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff without Plot, Gen, Headcanon, Luffy Being Luffy, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious Monkey D. Luffy, Oneshot, Self-Indulgent, Sneezing, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22141183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenSt0rms/pseuds/HiddenSt0rms
Summary: “Okay, that’s enough. We can’t keep him,” Nami winced in sympathy. “You’re clearly allergic.”“A-allergic?” Luffy asked, sincerely confused. How could be possibly be allergic to his new friend? “That’s not…hah'kiktchuh!”There’s a new addition to the Straw Hats. Too bad Luffy can’t get near him.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy & Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates
Comments: 6
Kudos: 126





	Do Animals Have Return Policies?

“Luffy!” Chopper exclaimed when his captain entered the galley for dinner. The other crew members turned their heads and too cringed. Luffy looked just about as miserable as could be – his eyes were red, watery, and puffy, and his nose was tinged red and leaking – a far contrast from how healthy he’d looked prior to their supply run. He’d been perfectly fine until then.

Even though Luffy looked just about as miserable as could be, he still sported a bright smile at the dinner sitting on the table. “This looks amazing, Sanji!” His smile faltered a bit at how weak and strained his voice sounded, like he’d lose it soon if this didn’t stop. He ducked away from the food over his shoulder. _"_ _Hh’astchka!"_ He followed with a light cough that left Nami shaking her head. Only an idiot wouldn’t know what was causing this.

 _"Ugh!_ I don't know why I've been doing that so much!"

Well, in this case…

“Okay, that’s enough. We can’t keep him,” Nami winced in sympathy. “You’re clearly allergic.”

“A-allergic?” Luffy asked, sincerely confused. How could be possibly be allergic to his new friend? “That’s not… _hah'_ _kik'tchuh!"_

“Nami’s right. We can’t keep it,” Chopper regretfully agreed. “Not if the reaction is this bad."

It was a sad situation, really. Luffy had found this kitten in an alley on the island they’d stopped at and immediately fell in love. He (at least they thought) was orange, tiny, fluffy, and had the most adorable little whiskers. Even more, the cat seemed fond of being held and petted, which was sure to get along fine with Luffy’s affection. The captain immediately scrambled to show his crew his discovery and after some coaxing from Nami (cats don’t cost much, right?), everyone agreed that perhaps a pet onboard could be a nice change of pace.

Probably not the best of their ideas...

 _“Hah'KCHUH!"_ Luffy furiously rubbed his nose, which only worsened his situation, as he’d been petting the cat for hours. _“Heh’tSCHhhu! Hih-hih’tschu! H’atschuh!”_

“Speaking of which, where is the little bastard, anyway?” Sanji said. 

“You mean him?” Luffy sniffled as hard as he possibly could and opened up his vest to reveal the kitten curled up inside. He scooped him out into his arms and looked at Sanji. “Did you make something for him, too? I’m sure he’s hungry.”

No wonder...

With his arms full of the cat, Luffy wiped his nose on his shoulder sleeve, but it being covered in cat hair only ignited the tickle. _“HUH! Hih’itsch!_ But he still needs a na... _na-Hh’hiscku! His'_ _t_ _ch_ _uh!"_ He rubbed his scratchy throat with a wince. "Ow..."

"If I may interject, I have some ideas for a name. I've been racking my brain all day for one, that is if I had - " 

"That doesn't matter because we're not keeping him," Zoro cut Brook off, who had had enough of watching his captain suffer. He stood up and hardened his face, leaving no room for argument. “Give him to me.” Zoro ordered and (surprisingly gently for a master swordsman) took the cat away. Luffy just looked confused.

“Aw, why’d you take him?” Not thinking of the dander on his hands (oh, Luffy), he reached them up to scratch his eyes, but luckily two hands bloomed on his chest in time to stop them.

“Don’t touch your eyes. It’ll only make it worse.” Robin said gently.

But Luffy pouted and tried to get free of her hold.“But my eyes are so itchy!”

“I’ll make you some antihistamines. They’ll make you feel better,” Chopper said, getting up from the table. “I know you’ve already taken your weekly bath, which is concerning in of itself, but go take another one. And _don’t_ get near him anymore.” He spared a glance at Zoro, who understood and left to find a temporary hideaway for the cat onboard until they docked again.

"But it's fine! Really! Please don't get rid of him!" Luffy whined. Sure, these weird things had been happening all day, but what's a new nakama without sacrifice? "It's not a big deal! I'm perfectly... _snf_...I'm perfectly fine!"

"He's lying." Usopp pointed out, as if it weren't already obvious.

Chopper turned to Luffy with a look of sympathy. "I'm really sorry, Luffy. But it's Doctor's Orders. Maybe we can get a fish instead?" He suggested, but Luffy shook his head.

"But it's not the same! We always eat the fish we catch. I want to keep..." Luffy's eyes fluttered shut as he drew in a tired, shaky breath. He thought he was done doing this now the cat was away, but he guessed not. _"Hiktchuh! Snf!"_

That reminded Chopper. "I'll get the medicine ready as fast as I can." And he left, ending anymore protests to keep the cat. Luffy had to settle for sad sniffling, which prompted Franky to pass him a napkin to blow his nose. Doing so seemed to take forever.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Robin, being motherly as always, cooed softly. “You sound miserable.” She went over to the sink and wet a washcloth, then instructed Luffy to wipe his face and hands. It seemed to help a little, but Chopper’s medicine was what he needed most.

“Feel better?” Robin asked hopefully, but Luffy only took his seat and slumped forward with his head in his hands.

“I’m gonna miss him.” The tears brimming in Luffy's eyes had to be from more than just allergies, and it broke everyone's hearts, including Sanji's. He placed a comforting hand on his captain's shoulder and offered a gentle smile.

“If I made your favorite dessert, would that make you feel better?”

That seemed to cheer Luffy up, who about jumped up in excitement, but Sanji ushered him back down.

“But I won’t make it unless you take a bath after dinner. Deal?”

“...deal.”


End file.
